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Monday, 21 July 2008

i don't feel too good... from my brain to my heart to my body... everything's messed up...

i sometimes feel i'm useless... i'll admit now i have low self-esteem...
i'll ridicule myself up to a point that i don't recognise myself anymore...

i have done sacrifices... big sacrifices...

yet sumtimes i do feel under appreciated even when people praised or thanked me... this is all probably bcos i've been a failure since primary school... i failed my family and my friends in almost everything i've done.. My mom kept reminding me of how i failed her academically and as a person each time i mess things up...

the person i like now isn't responding to me...
why am i that gullible and stupid enough to follow my feelings rather than my head?
i just need to a hint, a simple big hint to cancel that question away...
so please do tell me... someone... anyone...

Again, i have my close friends, Doubt and Fear by my side...
one by one, my friends abandon me...
day by day, i find myself getting further away from the very thing i like most...
and each second, i kept reminding myself of who i am in this world...

no matter how happy i look, i am just not happy with myself...

but not anymore... i planned to change... and i need that someone to help release me from my pathetic low self-esteem and give me the self confidence i duly needed...

posted by: hilmi21 @ 10:57 pm


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Name: Muhammad Hilmi B Sazali Age: 21 Interests: Music, Soccer, Technology(Gadgets), Movies Current Fave Genre: KPOP

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